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Have the Confidence that You Will Find Your Lifelong Friends Here

Alumna Perspective - Carly Leff

I wish I could say that the first few days are fun and easy. I'm not sure if they were terrifying for me because that's the way it is for everyone, or simply because I am not particularly good at or fond of change. Either way, the first few days were harrowing. I felt this pressure to define exactly who I was and who I would be friends with pretty much immediately. I looked around and some were going out with a big group of people they just met on the first night, while others stuck to the acquaintances they had come in with. I tried a few crowds within those first few days, the partiers and the more low key kids. I spent a lot of time comparing my floor to that of others and deciding I was on a floor with kids who did not get me. Basically I panicked myself and made snap judgments.

Once classes started and I began making friends in a comfortable way (instead of forcing it), I realized I did not have to figure anything out ASAP. I hung out with the kids I wanted to hang out with and stayed open to meeting new people. I tried not to compare how many new friends I had accumulated with the numbers of my friends. Ironically, most of the close friends I left Barnard with were those I did not get close to until Sophomore and later on.

Lesson: don't be too focused on finding your group immediately.

Enjoy whoever is around and have the confidence that you will eventually find your life-long friends here.

I know I did!