A lucky few students and alumnae can say that their “Barnard family” is also their actual family: they share a special bond with mothers, daughters, siblings and cousins who have also attended. But of that lucky few, how many can say they attended Barnard at the same time as a sibling eighteen years younger than them?
That’s how life has been the last two years for the Fuentes family. Angelica Fuentes ’98, P’26 brought her son Gabriel to class at the Barnard Center for Toddler Development twice a week — where he also got to visit his big sister, current Barnard senior Stephanie Fuentes ’26.
After dropping Gabriel off at the Barnard Center for Toddler Development, where he would spend a few hours learning and playing with students in Barnard’s developmental psychology seminar, Angelica often took the opportunity to have some one-on-one time on campus with her daughter Stephanie.
“The shift was very funny,” Angelica said. “Sometimes we’d have a crying toddler because of his separation anxiety, and then I’m meeting with this totally independent Barnard student, telling me about how she wants to go away after college, and go to a different state and pursue a master’s. Meanwhile, I just remember dropping her off and having the same thing that I did with Gabriel.”
Stephanie is an English major with a concentration in creative writing and a minor in political science. Between juggling her classes and poetry seminars, grad school applications, editing the literary magazine 4x4 at Columbia, and seeing her friends, Stephanie was happy to have a minute just to hang out with her mom.
“Being in close proximity was very cool, because I would walk out of class and my mom would be like, 'Do you want to meet up for lunch?'” Stephanie said. “I had a little break in between classes in which I could just go chat with her. I really enjoyed that. And then also, I was able to introduce a lot of my friends to my little brother, and they loved it.”
And what does Gabriel have to say about all this?
“He still talks about it!” Stephanie said. “He’ll say, ‘I went to Barnard and I go to the same school as Stephanie.’ So that’s really cute.”
Since 1973, the Toddler Center has offered families a warm environment focused on the healthy cognitive development of their young children. Based out of the Barnard Psychology Department, the Toddler Center’s weekly classes are specifically tailored to its young students’ psychological needs.
By design, it’s a learning experience that’s deeply impactful for everyone involved: the toddlers play and build their social-emotional skills, the Barnard students who work with the toddlers learn about psychology and early development in real time, and the toddler families enrolled benefit from the parental support and scientific insights that the Toddler Center provides.
It’s tough to say who gains the most from that setup. Alison Davis, senior associate director of the Toddler Center, said that the support of all three groups at once is key to the work of the Center.
“Separation, as emotional as it is for the toddlers, is also very emotional for the parents. And Gabriel is the baby of the family,” Davis said. “Angelica and I developed a really nice relationship, and she was a regular at my parent group, which I begin in the second semester.”
At the parent group, Angelica had an opportunity to connect with other Barnard parents, learn about early development, and share her experiences raising a young son and a college-aged daughter. As distinct as those two experiences might seem, they’re not entirely dissimilar, according to Tovah Klein, advisor and former director of the Toddler Center.
“Toddlers are going through that first initial separation, and that very first ‘Who am I out in the world?’” Klein said. “It’s a very parallel process, because college students are also going through their own separation process, finding their own identity: Who am I? Who will I be once I leave Barnard?”
Part of what makes the Toddler Center so special is that it fosters uncommon connections across such different life stages.
“Yes, the Toddler Center is there because of our Barnard students and for their learning on early development and research. But equally, we’re there for the community,” Klein said. “[The Center] often brings alums back who have not been to campus since they graduated, which is really, I think, an important piece of what we do.”
With its emphasis on long-term relationship building and the staff’s commitment to supporting the Barnard community across several critical life stages, it’s no surprise that the Center enrolls so many children from Barnard alumnae, faculty and staff.
In her 30 years there, Klein often saw the Toddler Center’s undergraduate psychology staff become parents enrolling their children, or children at the Center grow up and become Barnard undergraduates themselves.
According to Davis, Barnard families’ long-term connections to the Center reflect the Center’s educational mission and her staff’s careful attention to the individual development process of each child enrolled there.
“I think that the families really trust us. They understand that our guidance takes into account whatever that child’s individual circumstances are and who that child is,” Davis said. “It’s not a one size fits all, and that’s what’s truly special about [our work], and taking into account the developmental stage that the child is in at that time.”
Even among alumnae families, the Fuentes’ connection to Barnard is special, Klein said.
“The core of the Center is head and heart. You know, intellect and humanity coming together,” Klein said. “[Students at the Toddler Center], they’re really learning with their head and their heart combined. And maybe, in a way, that’s what Angelica and Stephanie and Gabriel represent.”
With three generations of students, it’s easy to assume that Barnard was always meant to be a major part of the Fuentes family’s story. But for Angelica, it was never a given that she’d get to share the Barnard experience with her daughter.
“I was surprised when she decided. I never thought she would. I mean, deep down, I hoped she would. I had a wonderful experience,” Angelica said. “I always wanted to come back to the city for college. I thought there was a lot of opportunity there. So for me, it was the ideal place. But I wanted her to make her own decision.”
When Stephanie did decide — on her own — to attend Barnard, it wasn’t because of her mother’s connection to the College. Life at Barnard spoke to her in other ways, she said.
“I fell in love with Barnard simply because of the English classes,” Stephanie said. “I saw that the curriculum at Barnard for English involved all these rigorous workshops with these really great writers. I’m so grateful, and still in awe, that I got to take their classes throughout the years that I’ve been here.”
Once Stephanie had finished her first year at Barnard and space became available for Gabriel at the Toddler Center, it was an easy choice. For Angelica, the combination of developmental insight and time with her children that the Center provided made it well worth the commute from Staten Island.
“I love the program so much because of the parental support that I got there — meeting other parents with their toddlers, and being able to observe my toddler. The fact that Stephanie was also there just made it a win-win,” Angelica said. “I really couldn’t find a better place to be every week and have both of my kids. I just couldn’t say no to this.”
It’s no surprise that among three different people, there were many different reasons to choose Barnard. Neither should it be a surprise that even with such distinct motivations bringing Angelica, Stephanie, and Gabriel to campus, Barnard has equally become a home for all three of them.
With her recent glimpse into life on campus, Angelica has had a new appreciation for the unique experiences that she, Stephanie, and Gabriel have each had there.
“I was the first one from my family to go to college, so it was a very, very new experience for my whole family. I wasn’t as prepared or as determined as Stephanie is,” Angelica said. “She’s just so mature intellectually, she’s taking advantage of all the resources, all the opportunities that are there that I wish I had.”
But in all the ways that matter, Barnard is just the same, according to both Stephanie and Angelica.
“[My mom] always says that even now, when she steps on campus, she can see how the students support each other, and how it’s just so positive. And she says that was something that was also a cornerstone of her experience, everyone uplifting each other,” Stephanie said.
“It’s the same Barnard, right? It’s still that small community. There’s a lot of support,” Angelica said. “[Stephanie is] at home, right at Barnard. There are a lot of things that have changed, but I’m so happy she’s part of a new generation at Barnard.”
