One of the most essential tools that people leading group discussions of volatile topics will need to use is active listening. Active listening might sound simple, but it is in fact a skill that requires deliberate practice. It also is a skill that requires the person practicing it to be in tune with their own emotional state as a listener and how their feelings can shape their reactions to speakers. Here are some of the key practices of active listening, which instructors can both model themselves and share with students.

Observe your feelings in advance
One’s emotional state can be as much an aid as a barrier to actively listening to others. Especially in situations where a constant stream of breaking news and a range of competing claims about the correct interpretation of conflicts serve to inflame everyone’s emotional responses, it is important for instructors to take their own feelings seriously as they prepare to speak with groups. Before attempting to practice active listening, check in with your own emotional state and consider how this state might affect the way you receive the speech of others. The point of this self-monitoring is not to separate the cognitive from the emotional; nor is it to propose that it is possible to temporarily repress one’s feelings or viewpoints in the interest of adopting someone else’s. Rather, the point is to better observe and understand the ways knowledge and feeling are entangled in the lives of everyone—a fact that can make individuals selective about how (and to whom) they listen actively. 

Face the speaker and maintain eye contact
Demonstrate that you are focusing your attention on the speaker by turning your body toward them, sitting in an upright position with shoulders back, and using non-interruptive forms of engagement (e.g., nodding, affirmative murmurs, brief echoes of their own language). Avoid flipping through papers or books, checking your phone, or looking repeatedly around the room while a person is speaking.

“Listen” to a speaker’s non-verbal cues
While you as a listener try to maintain a posture of receptiveness, try to observe how the speaker is holding their own body. Do they have their arms crossed in front of their chest? Are they looking down or avoiding eye contact with others? This, alongside what they are saying, can indicate things about their emotional state that might lead you to change your approach to facilitating conversations. 

Pause the impulse to interrupt
When a speaker makes a point that resonates with you, echoes someone else, or anticipates something you will bring up later, it is tempting to jump in, observe these points, and move things forward. But even if done affirmatively, these interruptions can suggest that people’s contributions matter most when they serve some other goal. (NB: interruption is appropriate when a speaker veers into using discriminatory and/or violent language or begins to violate norms that the group may have set in a community agreements exercise.)

Pause the impulse to plan your response
It is common (especially in classrooms) for people to listen mainly to find the place where they can make their own contribution. Try to pause this orientation toward planning, which can impede one’s ability to listen fully to another person. When people start planning, they risk missing important information and context that speakers provide, such as their body language and the emotional core of their contribution.

Wait and then reflect, summarize, or paraphrase
Silence is necessary for absorption: do not be afraid to let it linger. Silence is also a tool that you can use to register both the feelings the speaker expressed and the feelings you’re experiencing as a listener, both of which are important to understand as you prepare your next responses. After a beat has passed, demonstrate that you attended fully to what a person said by acting as a sort of mirror to their speech—reflecting any core points they made, identifying emotions you heard them expressing, summarizing their ideas, or paraphrasing parts of their speech that you want to hold on to.  

Expand understanding by asking open-ended and reflective questions
The exchange in a conversation can be deepened when speakers are invited to enlarge or reiterate their ideas. Open-ended questions are those that avoid “yes” or “no” responses, offer opportunities for the speaker to expand their ideas, and may reflect on their emotions or next steps (“How did that…?,” “Based on what you said, what might you…?”). Reflective questions are those that allow a speaker to check whether your interpretation aligns with their intent (“I believe I heard you say… Is that right?,” “Would it be accurate to say…?”). Anticipate that the speaker will correct your interpretation, and that this is a good thing, especially if it means they feel heard and understood. In any case, when asking follow-ups, be careful of both your tone and the number of questions you ask. While questions can be helpful, people might become less likely to speak if they sense that doing so will result in being treated like they are interviewing for a job or sitting on a witness stand. 

Observe patterns but forego advice
One of the actions that an instructor or facilitator can take when encouraging active listening is to identify repeating themes, emotions, values, and/or ideas that appear across speakers. But put that observation back to the group for their own collective processing. Unless they explicitly ask for it, avoid offering advice or imposing your solutions on what they should do or think next.